Mentors and Critical Friends
Teaching is rewarding and meaningful, yet at times a demanding profession emotionally. On most days we all have at least a dozen plates spinning in the air that all require our vigilant attention.
- often it is possible to lose our sense of balance under these stressors
- sometimes, our behaviours send messages to others that we are struggling to cope; especially our students
- our students watch us closely and sense very quickly when we are not travelling well, just as we watch our school leaders to monitor how they are faring; never forget that we are powerful role models
Therefore, when we confront seemingly overwhelming challenges, as a safeguard for us and catalyst to getting back on track, it is an advantage for us to have several mentors and critical friends on staff.
- burdening partners and loved ones at home with our professional issues is both unfair and generally pointless, because they haven’t the understanding or expertise to assist us and will become stressed themselves; they don’t need this and our homes should be places of harmony
- our colleagues’ understand the rigours of the profession and as such, are far better equipped to support us
When choosing these colleagues ensure that they are willing to do so and have the capacity to:
- make objective comments on our performance
- listen to our ideas and concerns
- suggest alternative approaches and strategies
- monitor our attitudes, behaviours and performance
- give frank feedback, both positive and negative; sometimes advice that we don’t want to hear
- understand that effective learning and teaching communities rely on open, trusting and transparent communication lines
For us to thrive, teaching must be a “team” profession, especially in the 21st century to:
- cope with the challenges technologically and the more and more diverse society we are presented with
- establish shared beliefs, principles, expectations and practices; to thrive, we must be prepared to collectively agree to distinguish between hope and expectation
Autonomy, “my classroom is my castle”, can only lead to vast variations in learning and teaching, student inappropriate behaviour, disengagement and under performance. It can also be a major stressor.
- we can ignore it, but it won’t go away; the biggest variation in learning and teaching is us; the teacher, the teacher and the teacher
- dialogue about our core business of teaching and learning is an essential for us to be confident, collegially consistent and cohesive as a staff learning community
Following are some guidelines and tips on how to give and receive feedback effectively as a mentor.
- avoid saying what you think the other person wants to hear; as a mentor/critical friend you have been asked to be honest. I once said to a mentor, “please don’t be that honest.” But afterwards I was so pumped to learn how to develop my teaching
- be specific and use examples if possible to illustrate your points; enhances relevance and meaning
- be developmental, not judgemental; always offer a positive alternative to a negative. Unless something better can be suggested, how can someone develop? So, explore solutions together
- give the feedback as close to the time you notice the behaviour as possible
- separate the person from his/her behaviours; say ‘you” not “we’; the feedback is about them not us
- when giving negative feedback, balance it by commenting on things that the person also does well
- listen and speak with your ears, eyes, and heart; no judge and jury, just sincere and caring
- invite/challenge a response for change; it’s in their court to show initiative after your observations
- avoid falling into the trap of being patronising and encouraging a ‘victim’ mentality of blaming, justifying storytelling; a spiral of self pity which results in poor teaching and learning; an unacceptable situation
- discuss “possible” strategies, then “probable” ones and together develop “preferred” directions
- developing our personal and our mentee’s emotional intelligences will equip all of us to be more receptive and perceptive to needs and feelings of our students and colleagues
“Caring and sharing about what we are achieving with each other is all about “us”, “we did it together!” MW